Dinner Theatre

So, Christopher and I were at the Bunny’s niece Jessica’s house for dinner earlier, and some of her husband Neil’s family was also there; his parents, and his sister along with her husband. When the Bunny was around, we would frequently spend time with Jessica and Neil – something I wasn’t used to doing with my own family, but gradually became comfortable with the practice – Jessica turned out to be quite the kindred spirit; smart, funny, doesn’t mince words, tells you what she thinks, and has more than her share of common sense. I’m probably at least ten years her senior, but I think of her somewhere between my “home girl” and my sister. She has also become my “official dresser” because I have such a bad body self-image I can’t be left unattended in clothing stores (I have no concept of what clothes look good on me), which is a lead into a very funny story I will get to in one of these future posts, referred to as “The Victoria's Secret Story.” But, I digress! So we are having dinner at Jessica and Neil’s, and Jessica is busy in the kitchen, pulling the meal together while the rest of us are hanging out in the living room, chatting, socializing, and talking about the day’s events.

Things began to get interesting when the food was ready and it was time to eat. Neil’s sister’s husband, wanting his wife to fix him a plate of food, starts calling out her name – over, and over, and over, and over again. So much so, that I started to feel embarrassed for him. Then I started to feel annoyed. He admitted – with not a trace of shame, I might add – that he typically behaved very passive aggressively, and as I watched he would turn to his wife and inform her that if she didn’t do what he wanted, she “was going to be sorry.” At one point I quipped, “Oh, I think she’s way past that point already..” What was appalling was that he appeared to be perfectly okay with this obnoxious and manipulative behavior, in spite of – no, ESPECIALLY – that Christopher and I were there to witness it (i.e. in front of people who were practically strangers). In my head I was thinking, yup, this is one marriage headed for future divorce. What frightened me the most was the example this was setting not only for my 17-year old son, but also Jessica’s son Gabriel, who is somewhere in the neighborhood of 8 years old.

As soon as I could make an escape, I left with Christopher in tow. Out of earshot of the house, I told him, “Don’t EVER act like that, ever… EVER! That was just AWFUL!” He answered like, duh, Mom.. of course not. Of course not!! Because even my kid, as unfocused and infuriating as he can be sometimes, knows better than to behave so selfishly and disrespectfully – ESPECIALLY in front of company. This episode also made me think of the Bunny, and reminded me yet again how very lucky I was in my relationship with him. Looking at my life and looking around, I will always choose my five, brief years of total happiness, love, respect, desire, and adoration of a good, decent man as the Bunny over thirty, forty, or fifty years of mediocre, half-assed, “just a body to share a bed with” mind-numbing bullshit as I saw in living color during dinner tonight. The Bunny was by no means perfect, but the way he treated me and our marriage was… I will never settle for anything less than that, even knowing that it’s very possible I will spend the rest of my life alone.

Possible… but as I’ve come to learn: anything can happen, so it’s best to keep an open mind. Just make sure to close your eyes when someone kisses you…