Out Of The Box

Here it is, the continuing saga of my fantasy love life. The “fantasy” refers to the condition that while I have felt attraction for certain individuals in my path… the stars have always been misaligned in terms of the potential for a real-live relationship. And maybe that’s a good thing for me, just barely coming up on the year anniversary of losing the Bunny.

So here’s the latest. In a previous post I described my tendency to feel attracted towards someone immediately – the elusive x-factor that, if missing, is a sure sign the relationship will not have any long-term staying power. And just when I think I have THAT whole thing figured out, the universe comes along to throw a proverbial wrench at my hypothetical monkey. In the current case, the attraction thing is working in reverse. Met the guy; good-looking, fairly decent, funny, smart… but I think at the time I was otherwise distracted. Or the attraction thing didn’t hit me like a semi truck... which is what I normally expect and therefore look out for. But as time has gone on, it seems that this sneaky devil takes up more and more of my thoughts (the more he gets in my head, the more attractive he becomes). And this is more than a little unsettling for me, because when my thoughts get monopolized, that’s when I begin my “fantasy relationship.”

True to form, the stars are a bit crooked with this mystery guy as well. Nothing a few revolutions and a little gravitational pull couldn’t cure, I’m guessing… but the foreignness of the whole thing throws me off a bit. Again, if I am looking for the usual signs, I would also have to say I get no “attraction vibes” from his direction (towards me) – and that’s another thing I can usually sense pretty clearly. No, he isn’t gay (there was a time in my life that I would go from being attracted to one homosexual guy after another – so much so that I would often joke about being a gay man trapped in a woman’s body – the makings of very funny story-telling; just another day in my life!).

Like the others the came before, I will simply let things run their course. No harm, no foul, and in the meantime my mind is kept busy. At least with these fantasy relationships I can feel confident in the knowledge that I won’t forget what to do when a real relationship comes my way.