Rules Of Engagement

1) Aggressive.. but NOT an Asshole: This is a very fine line, usually having to do with the level of ego involved.

2) Sense of Humor: Must not be bothered by a girlfriend who sometimes displays a mouth like a sailor. Some might describe this particular sense as "twisted." Best case scenario - not easily offended, can keep up with the speed of wit in the room, and never misses an opportunity to laugh... but NEVER meanly; at anyone else's expense.

3) Smart: The right mix of "book" and "street." Provoking thought and inspiration are big pluses. Not intimidated easily, and doesn't need to feel like - or display that he is, even if he is - the smartest person in the room. See #1, comment on ego.

4) Playful: Can switch easily between "serious" and "not-so-serious." See #2.

5) Trusting: Doesn't worry about where the girlfriend is and what she's doing when not in sight. Confident in the girlfriend's expressed level of love and commitment. Understands that there are many different types of people - male and female - and many different levels of interaction involved, and a well-balanced female in touch with who she is understands the value of a multitude of interpersonal relationships.

6) Independent: Having mutual interests is a given; must also have outside interests. Too much togetherness - unless mutually desired - is too stifling. Girlfriend - who is also very independent - has no wish to be smothered.

7) Expression of Emotion: Whatever strategy is employed in the "woo-ing" phase, continue this strategy through the actual "dating" phase. Don't be cool, then all of a sudden start spouting sonnets of undying love. See #6, comment on smothering.

8) Authenticity: Be real. Be yourself. Don't be distracted by any physical/outward attributes, natural or superficial. This one is subject to the "gut" test... and the gut is always right.


Final Notes: There is no "type." There is no "empty slot" to be filled. The point is to create YOUR own space. The girl is not "looking" for a mate; but she will make room for you in her life if you inspire her to do so.

She isn't like the others, know that going in. Are you ready?