Booking It

I have this friend; we’ll call her… Dee. Dee has had one bad relationship after another – married four times previously, and most recently ended a three-year “was living with the guy” relationship.

Some weeks ago, Dee hooked up with Michael. Right from the start, this proved to fit Dee’s typical relationship mold. Michael, in his own “living with the girl” relationship, did not show any signs of changing his situation when he and Dee started paying more attention to each other. Unfortunately, this fact did not make a huge difference to Dee – she and Michael wasted no time getting naked every chance they got. Dee shared with me recently that her attraction for Michael is off the charts… and she insists, despite the lying, cheating, and noncommittal sex, that Michael is a good-hearted guy at his core and deep down really cares a lot about her.

I have known Dee since we were kids. She’s always been somewhat of a rebel; she would be the one to sneak out of the house and drag me along for the ride. In fact, at one point during our teenage years, my dad went so far as to forbid me from hanging around with Dee anymore. It’s ironic that here I am, twenty-five years later, and my own father has zero presence in my life while Dee is one of my closest confidants.

So, I am a bit torn. I care about Dee as if she and I were blood. I worry about her. I don’t want to tell her how she should live her own life – only she gets to decide that. And I’ve even met Michael a few times… yes, he seems like a decent guy on the surface. But it pisses me off that as much as he “allegedly” cares for Dee, he isn’t motivated to create a legitimate place for her in his life. Because isn’t that what a person is supposed to do when the Universe brings one in contact with another human being that inspires him or her? That makes their excitement level run higher, their heart beat faster, their center of gravity move towards wherever that other person is?

I don’t have the heart to say this to Dee, but I think that Michael is just playing with her. She’s a beautiful woman; in great shape for a 40-year old. I tease her all the time that if I were a lesbian, I would try to date her myself. That always makes her laugh. I like it when I can make my friends laugh. I feel sorry for Dee, because I know she’s had a lot of bad luck in the relationship department and she seems to be very happy right now. But this is a train wreck waiting to happen, and I know that she’s going to have trouble bouncing back from this one given that she really wasn’t “whole” to begin with.

We are supposed to get together for sushi tomorrow night – it’s Dee’s birthday. Fortunately Michael won’t be around, I seem to remember he’s got some work thing to take care of. Or maybe something with his girlfriend. I don’t recall the exact details, but I know Dee was a little miffed that Michael was going to miss her birthday dinner. I guess it will be a good chance for me to plant some seeds in Dee’s head, in a subtle, roundabout way. This relationship clearly has nowhere to go, and the longer she keeps at it with Michael, the more opportunity she loses to meet the next guy. One that will actually be good to her – that will love and cherish her, that will be around when she needs him to be, that will talk to her and share his thoughts and dreams with her – everything that she deserves and what we all aspire to find for ourselves.

As for me? I know what that kind of relationship feels like, because I had it with the Bunny. I know it exists. I will accept nothing less; nothing less than everything, because that’s what I will be giving: everything. No holds barred. An open access system. I know what I deserve, and I will settle. For. Nothing. Less. No matter who I piss off in the process of making those kinds of decisions for myself. But then again, I never cared about what other people think of me. It’s my life to live… and since I only get one shot at it, I’m going to make damn sure it counts for something great.

And Michael, at that future point when Dee has slipped through your fingers, maybe you’ll figure out that how you are going about your own life is NOT going to get you what you want. Assuming you want more than just a super-cute piece of ass.

Or maybe you won’t figure that out. Only time will tell.