Night Passes

I met a potential friend - "Tracy" - recently and was in the process of getting more acquainted with her when I hit what is, for me, a relationship-killer. To tell you this story, I need to tell you a few things first: When I meet someone and decide I would like to make that someone my friend, it's irrelevant to me the circumstances of our introduction... I know lots of other people like to place restrictions and limitations on friendships and other intimate relationships, such as "never date a client" - I call this tendency "putting others in boxes." I hate being put in a box, most especially the "client" box. Had this type of rule held solid when I met the Bunny, we never would have gotten married - because we were co-workers AND he was a manager while I was a mere line employee - and if you have been paying attention, well then you realize the significance of THAT story.

So back to this present dilemma. Coincidentally, the rule that reared its ugly head was the "You can't be friends with patients" one - so you can figure out that I met Tracy in the office of one of my medical providers (I have several). Ironically, Tracy is not my doctor, and neither am I her patient... but it was enough that I was a "patient of the office" and Tracy a temporary worker for one of the other doctors on staff (THAT doctor, also not MY doctor).

I will be the first to say that I understand that several people out in the real world create rules such as this. I get it. And I also know that sometimes - SOMETIMES - things can go awry when you start mixing up the boxes... but to me, those are the exceptions, not the majority. And as the Bunny always said: You should NEVER make the rules for the exceptions. It was no way to work, and it's certainly no way to live. Otherwise, people would be too afraid to get out of bed every day, for fear of the what-if's.

Needless to say, I had to share my point of view with Tracy, and it was not an easy conversation for me. I think she was suprised at the vehemence of my reaction, and accused me of being "inflexible." But to me, this is a core belief of mine that is being challenged. My friends get my full disclosure; and I don't relate to people from the perspective of "if so-n-so finds out about it, they aren't going to like it/like me/approve/I'll get in trouble..." Honestly, I don't want to work that hard, trying to remember who's not supposed to know what, or who I am trying to keep something on the downlow from. That's the beauty of just being honest and open with anyone and everyone I meet and interact with - it's so easy to be in relationships, in my experience.

I didn't have high hopes for maintaining a long-term friendship with Tracy already; in the last few weeks I could tell we were very different people. Not much in common. But I would not have had the heart to judge her - I hate when people try to make me into something "acceptable" so I in turn never go there with anyone else. I can either take them or leave them, and the same goes for me. We all have a choice in how we live our lives, and what kind of person we ultimately want to be. I, for one, kind of like the person that I am.

And as I told Tracy: For me, in MY life, my perspective is the only one that matters.

Peace.