Looking Forward

Recently I have found myself inspired to pay a bit more attention to taking care of myself in the physical sense. Not to say I’ve been sitting around on the couch eating bon-bons for the past few months, mind you; but taking care of myself from the perspective of trying to maintain a more consistent mealtime schedule, incorporate regular exercise back into my weekly routine – the kinds of things that are hopefully going to have some positive impact on my blood sugar control. I am scheduled to visit my endocrinologist Dr. Tran at the end of this week, and in reviewing the numbers since my last appointment six weeks ago I am guessing she isn’t going to like seeing all of the lows I’ve been having. Okay, okay! My newfound inspiration has come to me in the form of a new guy in my sphere of existence. He’s a bit of a dichotomy – we haven’t really interacted all that much, yet I feel very emotionally connected to him. It’s a strange feeling, different than what I remember; but then again, I feel like I’m a different person than before. So I’m trying hard not to overanalyze things, which coincidentally is exactly what my boss advised me not to do… as I concurrently embark on yet another new income venture.

So! Back to my health. This past weekend I had a very informative conversation with a woman by the name of Esther who is a nurse specializing in colon hydrotherapy. Another one of my friends has been talking to me about this particular treatment for awhile now; if you can get past the details of it (and I’m not going to spell it out for you here – even I have my limits – this one’s good for Googling), colon hydrotherapy is rumored to have significant impact on a) how your body processes the food you consume and b) how you feel in terms of energy level, overall well-being, etc. Again, I fall back on my “try most things at least once” ideology. And given that I’ve pretty much felt like crap for awhile now (no pun intended), combined with the fact that my friend absolutely believes I’ll feel better when it’s all said and done, I figure I’ll give it a shot and form my own opinion on the matter using an actual real life experience.

It was during this conversation that the whole insulin-dependent diabetes thing came up. I mentioned how much insulin I take, how long I’ve taken it, and some of the particular challenges I face in the ongoing management of my blood sugars – like skipping meals. Just a few weeks ago I was on the phone with Christopher – now stationed in Okinawa, Japan – and had one of my worst low blood sugar episodes to date: I took my shot of insulin and then never got around to eating any food. I was driving home while I had him on the phone with me, so the good part of this story is that I did make it inside my house in one piece… but I was a complete mess otherwise. I did have enough sense to test my blood sugar while he was on the phone with me ; it was 36 (36!!?! WTF!!) and even though I insisted I was going to eat some food after I hung up with him (which I did), he was sufficiently freaked out enough to call his friend Bryson’s dad and aunt who live two blocks away from me AND his own dad who lives a few cities over… so in a very short period of time I had three people pounding on my front door ready to call 911 if I didn't answer quick enough. I think at the time I was in the middle of eating my third banana so I was starting to get back to normal… but I realized how that episode might have really scared my son. I felt guilty until I did actually get to talk to him again later on in the week (in Okinawa, he’s 16 hours ahead of me). Not that I plan to ever let THAT happen again; but I did tell him what to do if he’s ever on the phone with me and I start acting “funny” (the alternating between laughing and crying is a clear sign) – I told him in that circumstance, he needs to be the “drill sergeant” and I am the poolie. Orders, not questions. When my blood sugar is that low, my brain isn’t working well enough to process questions. I need to be told what to do, not asked what I need.

So Esther introduced me to this company by the name of StemTech. The company itself was founded in 2005, so yes, relatively young; but what’s preceded that date is tons and tons of research, mostly by a botanical researcher and neurophysiologist by the name of Christian Drapeau. Christian took up the challenge of trying to figure out the benefits of a natural growing freshwater plant known as Aphanizomenon flos-aquae, or AFA, on human health. An aside: The idea that AFA was in some way beneficial for the human body was established by a school teacher back in the ‘70s. A school teacher! Of COURSE. Anyway, so fast-forward though the timeline of discoveries (you can do your own research on the company website), and it turns out that what StemTech did was to develop a supplement that helps one’s body to access its own adult stem cells. If you have been paying attention to the news, stem cells are those things that can facilitate amazing things – regenerative, curative things – in one’s body; you hear about people trying to extract them from their bone marrow to freeze for some later use; for example they have a kidney fail and need to grow a replacement. Esther was telling me that scientists can even do things like re-grow teeth using stem cells. It really is quite amazing when you start learning about it.

So, based on what Esther was sharing with me, and in describing what her own personal experiences have been with these supplements – both from taking them herself and others that have taken them – I was convinced to try it for awhile and determine for myself if there was any positive benefit that I noticed. Now, I am as big a skeptic as there ever was; I don’t believe in miracle cures for anything. I am too much of a realist for that. However, the potential is that my body might better utilize the insulin I do have to inject into it which might mean that I would need to inject less. Which in turn would constitute an improvement in my overall quality of life. Hell, I might even live a few years longer, who knows?

Because of my recent career changes, I decided that once I get my regular paycheck back, I’m going to start with the supplements. And get my housecleaner and DirecTv back. I’ll give it a year. Then I will reevaluate. Since Dr. Tran is lobbying hard to get me on an insulin pump (something I’ve resisted for various reasons), I figure this is going to be the last opportunity I have to change my fate. Once I start on the pump, I doubt if I’ll ever be able to get back off of it. Not that there’s anything inherently bad with an insulin pump – from my understanding of the technology of it, it would probably better manage my highs and lows – but I just don’t want to do it. I’m too young. It’s not fair. Or maybe I'm just holding onto the unrealistic hope that somehow, some way, I’ll be able to do something to change my condition so I’m not such a “sick person” – I mean, I’m a pain in the ass enough as it is. I need to try to decrease the baggage I ask other people to accept from me, not ADD to it. Sheesh!

It doesn’t escape my notice that in two days is the 3rd anniversary of the “last happiest day of my life.” And then begins the three week countdown to the Bunny’s death, aka Pearl Harbor day. Like Adele croons in her song Somebody Like You “who would have known how bittersweet this would taste” – although I realize, a bit surprisingly, that this time of year doesn’t cause me as much pain as it used to. It’s a strange feeling, different than what I remember; but then again, I feel like I’m a different person than before.

Peace.